Chapter 9: Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Dear Journal:

Just what in the ever-loving fuck got into Miraj today?

I've heard of getting up on the wrong side of the bed. A few of my old classmates said I was born on that wrong side.

They clearly did not know what Miraj was like that morning. Normally, he's pretty good about getting ready for school. But not today.

He fought me every step of the way. And he was cussing up a storm the entire time. Before the bus came, it was "fuck school" this, and "fuck you" that.

To be brutally honest, it was like a completely different person had taken over. I listened to his gutter-mouth until he went to school.

And then I listened to it when he got home. But getting home, well...

 According to the police, one of the students found Miraj defacing school property. And apparently, he'd been doing other things that landed him in hot water.

"It was a surprise," the cop told me. "Normally, it's you doing that sort of thing, not your brother."

The principal actually had to double-check to make sure they had the right Alvi boy.

I stopped listening to what the cop said. I was too pissed to really pay attention. 

He'd been in a bad mood all morning. It went from foul-mouth and stubbornness, to disrespecting school property. Even he'd never had a day that bad.

Miraj knew... As soon as he saw me, he knew I was ticked. 

I asked him what the fuck he was thinking. Because, well, WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?

I didn't want the people at school to think both of us were lost causes. Hell, they'd probably think I'd put him up to it. Not something I wanted.

"Well, you did it all the time in school when Dad was alive!" That was then, this was now. I didn't have to choose between school and getting to my job half the time back when Iqbal was around. 

People already believe I'm doomed. But Miraj didn't have that problem. I tried telling him that. 

He just called me a fucking hypocrite. 

I wouldn't say hypocrite. It was more, don't make the same mistakes I did. But Miraj just wasn't listening. 

"You think you're better than me?" He asked me. "What makes you think you're so high and mighty?" 

I didn't think that. I know I've done some pretty messed up things in the past. I just didn't want my little bro to follow in those footsteps. 

We were arguing so loud, I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors heard us. Hell, I'm surprised none of them came outside to see what was up. 

Both of us got too fed up with each other to keep fighting. We sort of just...went different directions. He went to his room, I went back to sculpting. 

I'm not going to lie...Fighting with my own little brother was the most painful thing in my life. 

I'd always fought with Iqbal, but never Miraj. Why even were we fighting? It was partly the whole school incident, but that couldn't have been everything. 

Maybe his anger needed an outlet after everything he'd been through in his life. Since I was the only one left in the house, I was the one he had to release it towards. 

Telling myself that didn't make it hurt any less, though. 

Needless to say, we're not speaking to each other right now. 

(End of Chapter 9. And Happy Easter, to those who celebrate it.)